Friday, March 18, 2005

SHEFF'S SPECIAL FRIEND

Editor's Note: today's blog was written by Elijawonkenobi.

The Stoics believed that nothing that is subject to chance can rightly be called either good or bad. The only good is ethical virtue, and the only bad vice. Good health, money, rosy-cheeked catamites, the latest designer-brand toga – all of it is relegated to the realm of the ‘indifferent.’ To be sure, some indifferents are preferable to others, according to the degree to which they are in harmony with nature; but none of them have any effect whatsoever on the happiness and serenity of the Stoic sage, who is as happy on the rack as he is in a hot tub. Emotion was banished from the stoa altogether because emotion, whether pleasant or distressing, tends to overwhelm and consume the will, leaving it subject to chance and unable to behave virtuously.

This morning, after Kathy left for work, I took my dog (Kathy looks after her when I’m away, but really she’s my dog) on a walk to the park, where we were looking forward to a totally virtuous game of fetch and maybe some harmonizing with nature if we got tired. But as soon as I removed Pac’a’s leash, I heard a rather emotional voice yell out, “put your fuckin’ dog on a leash, asshole!” It was a large, bearded man, and he looked like he might have been living in the park. I tried to maintain my serenity, and I explained that, although I was aware of the leash law, my dog really needed the exercise. “Is she bothering you in any way?” I asked. “Follow the rules, asshole! I know where you people are coming from!” “No you don’t.” “Yes I do, asshole!” “No you don’t,” etc. Anyway, by the end of it, I was really pissed. His emotion had spread to me like a fungus, and I even found myself resenting Pac’a’s imperviousness to it, wishing she would stop acting like she wanted to smother my foe with kisses. He was insane and enormous and wanted to beat me up, so we left. I think I’m going to be an Epicurean instead.

6 Added Something:

Anonymous enlil quipped...

MOTHERFUCKER!
enough of this noise...

i will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers... and you will know that my name is the Lord when i lay my vengeance upon thee!!!

now stand back! i'm going to make it rain

Friday, March 18, 2005 1:08:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous quipped...

this is elijawonkenobi's brother.
i would just like to suggest that his post, while pleasantly entertaining and lightly humorous, is actually much more. it is an inspired spark for moral thought and discussion that, if people took it seriously enough, could transform our world (if only slightly) for the better.
i also would like to suggest that enlil's comment, though strident and active, appears to make very little sense. i'm can only hope that his "furious anger" is directed at the park-dwelling malcontent who's behavior was so unsettling to my gentle brother.

Friday, March 18, 2005 5:02:00 PM  
Blogger Kathy quipped...

enlil, not long after you posted it started raining. toads and ice. freaky.

Friday, March 18, 2005 6:47:00 PM  
Anonymous eli quipped...

turns out enlil is the sumerian god who sends the rains upon the evildoers who disrespect paca, the god of licking. the rains did fall right after we got home, and i can only imagine that that guy fell on his knees and repented. thank you, enlil!

Friday, March 18, 2005 9:13:00 PM  
Anonymous enlil quipped...

aint nothing but a thing

Friday, March 18, 2005 11:27:00 PM  
Blogger Dirty Dan Sin quipped...

I am torn. I am quite sure that your dog is one-in-a-million-nice and all...but...so many backwards idjits put so many creatures in such peril with their ill-traned and tragic pups that I am gonna have to go with the leash law.

Pet owners, like parents and guitarists, should probably have to apply for a license.

Monday, March 21, 2005 10:04:00 AM  

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