Latest Request For Advice

I received the following message from a dear friend:

Hi Kathy,

So, my friend forwarded me the following craigslist personal ad [omitted due to objectionable language, however fancy, about particular sex acts*], which riffs off the opening of Pride and Prejudice. After reading it, I thought maybe you could give advice about how to write a successful personal ad on craigslist.

Yours,
D

I'm afraid I'll have to research this matter further, but I wanted to put it out there now for feedback. I don't really know what to put in an ad, but I don't think craigslist is really the place to find templates. I do think that people should act fast when they see an ad they like, say on Match.Com or something less random playish. If you wait, he or she might take up with someone else and have no interest in you due to the mere fact of timing.

* If you really must read it, here it is. Be warned; it's really nasty.