Advice For Today
I know from comments on my last post and general buzz in the air, that people need advice on love and love related topics. At the outset, I can tell you that my advice won't land you a special someone. Still, I know a few things. My companions this sunny Sunday, Elias and my mom, do too.
I'm impressed by the love matches on the tv commercials for EHarmony. Other people think those couples are disgusting. I've never tried on-line dating, but both Elias and I agree that if we didn't have each other we would give it a try.
Some people think on-line dating is no good because every time you check people out, they know about it. There's no real anonymity. I heard about one scheme in which the looker (a true single looking for love) gets a buddy (someone who is not looking and just there to help) to screen potential suitors. The non-looker will direct the looker to the good stuff without a care in the world that s/he's cruising and perusing all over the place.
If you can't do on-line dating, borrow a dog and walk it around popular parks frequented by beautiful people. Or take a class like auto repair, martial arts, salsa dancing, or cake decorating. My mom suggests going to the docks and offering to clean someone's fish. That one's kind of weird, but that's the sort of thing my mom has to offer a man if she ever gets out there again.
Go for someone you find attractive and who finds you attractive. But make sure that this attractive person also adores you and lives to do right by you. You'll have to do the same in return. Attraction alone is not enough. Elias says I can't tell people who to go for. He says I can't even tell people not to go for assholes, but I want to anyway. Don't go for assholes.
If you get dumped or have your heart broken, know that you'll get better. There are material and physical comforts I recommend like bright red food products (carbonated fruit punch counts), obsessive exercising, trash talking the person who put you in this place, and pets. I do not recommend sleeping around and/or drinking/drugging too much. Stay single and healthy until you're ready for more.
I'm impressed by the love matches on the tv commercials for EHarmony. Other people think those couples are disgusting. I've never tried on-line dating, but both Elias and I agree that if we didn't have each other we would give it a try.
Some people think on-line dating is no good because every time you check people out, they know about it. There's no real anonymity. I heard about one scheme in which the looker (a true single looking for love) gets a buddy (someone who is not looking and just there to help) to screen potential suitors. The non-looker will direct the looker to the good stuff without a care in the world that s/he's cruising and perusing all over the place.
If you can't do on-line dating, borrow a dog and walk it around popular parks frequented by beautiful people. Or take a class like auto repair, martial arts, salsa dancing, or cake decorating. My mom suggests going to the docks and offering to clean someone's fish. That one's kind of weird, but that's the sort of thing my mom has to offer a man if she ever gets out there again.
Go for someone you find attractive and who finds you attractive. But make sure that this attractive person also adores you and lives to do right by you. You'll have to do the same in return. Attraction alone is not enough. Elias says I can't tell people who to go for. He says I can't even tell people not to go for assholes, but I want to anyway. Don't go for assholes.
If you get dumped or have your heart broken, know that you'll get better. There are material and physical comforts I recommend like bright red food products (carbonated fruit punch counts), obsessive exercising, trash talking the person who put you in this place, and pets. I do not recommend sleeping around and/or drinking/drugging too much. Stay single and healthy until you're ready for more.
posted by Kathy at 2:55 PM
7 Added Something:
I've known several people who met online. I always heard a good place to meet people was the supermarket, and also book stores. (But not the self-help aisle). I met someone special at church but that was where I was looking. That obviously won't work for everyone. The dog park sounds better than the docks but if you want a really manly man, that might just be the place for you!
I am so going to go to the docks - why didn't I think of that before??? I think your next advice column should be about "Relationship Talks". I've been getting calls about that one from people. I know it's not really your thing, but, there are people out there who need pointers!
I know at least three very happy couples who met online. I met my current sig O through a friend who introduced us, so you forgot one important piece of advice: networking through friends.
Kathy, you are a splendid advice columnist!!!
Your last post was so informative... While I have yet to meet any happy couples that met on-line, I do find that more and more people around me who are single giving it a try. I think on-line dating sounds cool, but I hate the idea of people "choosing me" based simply on a profile picture and a witty bio that I had to create for the site.
It's funny that you mentioned dog parks, because I did meet someone once at the dog park. But this was like 3 years ago. Sadly that only lasted three dates... Also, for the gays trying to meet someone in public can be tricky, because often simple flirting can be mistaken for cruising...
2 of my close friends met on Match a few years ago, got married last June and are now 4 months pregnant! (BTW, Kathy, I am talking about our TIM!)
When I was in L.A. I met Michael online and he is still a great friend, we exchange e-mails, he even wrote recommendation letter for me - I am getting more translation jobs in foreign agencies. He has executive job in Lionsgate. I met Max at the exhibit opening in one gallery on August 31 2004, cultural events are a good place where you can meet people. I first didn't want to go because of rain but my friend convinced me to go so I did and I met the love of my life.
And don't forget Casual Encounters on craigslist. If you pose naked pics, you can meet lots of people. Make sure that you specific non-smokers only. You don't want to meet any gross people.
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