Thursday, August 31, 2006


"Unreal" is the word John McEnroe used to describe tonight's match between Andre Agassi and Marcos Baghdatis*. I agree. It is unreal that Elias and I are spending hours and hours watching sports on TV again, and it's not even basketball season.** Honestly, it was an intense match, but Agassi's victory means we have to keeping tuning in to the US Open.

Speaking of unreal, has anyone seen "Who Wants to Be a Superhero" on the SciFi channel? It kind of works as a spoof of the Donald Trump show. Stan Lee is like the CEO of a crime-fighting syndicate. The hero named Feedback is straight out of a two dimensional world -- he's perfect!

*Xui, Baghdatis is kind of hot, but he doesn't really photograph well in still photos.

** Even though it's not NBA season, Elias has been tuning into early early a.m. international basketball games in which he watches the US beat other countries with ridiculously wide margins of victory.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

What's So Great About Good Health?

Today, I tried to introduce fake bacon in to our household. In terms of calories and fat, it wins over bacon. But even in a B.L.T., it kind of sucks. Maybe we'll try turkey bacon next.

Sunday, August 27, 2006


Last week was weird. People kept exposing me to fora on phalluses.

Greg started it.

Cloudy followed suit, writing about this sensitive topic.

A coworker, just weeks away from retirement, told this joke over lunch. (In my colleague's version, the surgeon is replaced by a mohel.)

Monday, August 21, 2006

I Can't Mind My Own Business

Do you ever strain your neck trying to read the book titles of your fellow flyers when you travel? I do.

On a flight last week to L.A., I snuck peaks at the bible study going on in my row. The woman next to me was reading from the Bible, a scripture companion book, and an internet print-out. She was making sure to get it right! On the flight home, I noticed a man reading this book. Not knowing about the book or who reads this kind of stuff, I really wanted to find out if I was on the plane with a live Black Republican. Or maybe he was just curious. Nonetheless, people shouldn't go around advertising for the GOP by waiving around its symbols.

Both of those selections were fine by me compared to the stuff I snooped on a flight a while back. I looked over at a seat mate's book and noticed the topic, "Crush Your Enemy Totally." I was pretty freaked out and feared her wrath. Later, I learned that the book is called The 48 Laws of Power and is full of smarmy topics.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Movie Endorsement

Usually Elias and I laugh at different things in movies. For example, I thought the outtake of Owen Wilson urinating on a wall was the funniest part in Starsky and Hutch. Elias didn't think so and to this day thinks something is wrong with me. When we saw Talladega Nights, I freaked him out again by cracking up at things he didn't think were so funny.

So imagine our delight at enjoying Little Miss Sunshine. We loved it. Along with Brother Ed, we cried tears at the funny scenes. At the same time. And at the same things.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

We Joined A Gym

Elias and I are trying to undo the effects of shacking up. We joined a gym, and I hate it. I don't know how to work all those machines, and I get tired trying to "do my cardio." Brother Ed is trying to help out -- he has all kinds of advice for us. I should concentrate on working up to a good circuit, and Elias should plan on basketball with occasional free weights.

We're going to give it a good try, even though it's going to cut into our t.v. schedule. Luckily, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Next Top Model, and other shows suck or have failed to impress as they once did. Another highlight: we got to go shopping for workout clothes. Good thing because I'm too fat to wear my old workout clothes, plus they're like 15 years old or something.

As Seen On The Daily Show

Last night John Stewart talked about this Republican running for office in Virginia. Maybe we can take back the Senate and the House in November.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Forget About Liquids and Gels!

The headline says it all. I wish you could inspect the image close up because it's priceless. Look for it at news stands, and you'll see what I mean.

The Weekly World News reveals this too!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Current Events

We felt the earthquake here in Oakland tonight. The apartment rocked a bit, and my first instinct was to make sure Pac'a was alright. She was in the back yard when it happened, and from what I can tell, she had no idea that the earth beneath her feet was amiss.

We don't know which is worse -- local news or the situations in the Middle East. As far as Mel Gibson goes, I don't have a nickel in that dime.

Lucky for us all, Will Ferrell exists. I hope to God Talladega Nights puts me in a good mood. I'm also looking forward to Little Miss Sunshine.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

When I Was Religious

The caption reads: Our most gracious thanks to our most lady La Santa Kitty, for her guiding hand in the growing Glory of this, our New Church.

Xui and I used to dress up and get religious back in the day. He painted the image above. It's me. I wish I still had that dress and the energy to get gussied up once in a while.